“It is one of those sleepless nights… As I look at you I can’t believe that more than one months has gone by! As much as I was preparing myself for your arrival, the day you were born has brought much more than I thought, much more than I could have imagined… Was it love at first move, first kick or your first scream?! This love grows bigger and bigger together with you every day!
The day you were born seems to be so far away now. And that sleepless night that I spent in labour feels like a dream. “Was it painful?” They ask me. “Was it long?” And so many are still surprised it was a natural home birth…
As I look at you I can’t remember any of the pain, I can’t remember how I was timing my contractions to see if I should call the midwife or not yet… and how I was checking the time when trying to push you out…
All I remember is how they told me that they can see your head and the thought that I do wish to see it as well gave me the strength to push… :))
As I look at you now I feel love, joy, happiness… And so much more! It is our 37th sleepless night, you wake up every hour because you are hungry. I might have a slight headache and bags under the eyes. There are still “marks” of your life inside me on my body… But none of that matters!
As I look at you now I can’t believe my life has felt fulfilled ever before. Look at those eyes, lips, little nose, chubby cheeks… You are a perfection and I’m so proud to be your mother!
There are so many more sleepless nights to come, my boy… But it doesn’t matter as I’m here for you and will always be!
Sleep quietly my little angel and I will guard your rest.
What helped me to achieve my natural labor:
First of all it was a positive mindset during my pregnancy. Most importantly not letting the fear inside me. So many people around try to influence your decision by sharing negative experiences… But I kept telling myself: ”Animals can do it without any help and I will be able to do it. And the help will be there if needed!”
Secondly, it was keeping any medical interference to a minimum. I had found a very supportive midwife and she was the only one to provide care for me throughout my pregnancy. I only did the obligatory tests and analysis.
And most importantly being open minded and just going with the flow and surrendering to whatever has to come!
I had imagined that during the last few months of my pregnancy I will be doing yoga, aqua aerobics, walking a lot on the fresh air, prenatal classes… But my contractions started well in advance, I started to dilate and as a result I spend 2 months on a strict bed rest…
What was important to me during the labor is to be able to do whatever I felt like doing and having maximum intimacy. It was a home birth and I managed to stay first 3 hours by myself, tuning in with the baby… After the midwife had arrived she was just coming in frequently to the room where I was, to check on me and to check babies heart rate. Four hours later my baby boy was born.
I didn’t use any breathing techniques, I didn’t do any hypnobirthing, I didn’t want any music. I just surrendered and kept tuning in to my baby.
There weren’t that many people to support me in my decision to have a natural home birth. Only my mother and my fiance… So I started to look around for some books and anything else that would help. I was so lucky to come across Katrina Zaslavsky’s book ‘‘A Modern Woman’s Guide to a Natural Empowering Birth”. All the support I was lacking was in there! It was such and easy-read, just felt like being surrounded by your girlfriends and listening to their birth stories…
As I finished the book I went to check Katrina’s website and I bought a subscription to the ”Empowering Birth Magazine” without any hesitation. I just regret that issues don’t come out more often, as every time I couldn’t wait for the new issue to be out. But the same day when it was out I would finish reading it. I found the information in the magazines very useful and the pictures were just magnificent, fairy-tale like.
The features that I loved in the mag were the positive birth stories, real truth and empower me. How did it help? Well, in a way being able to get to know others who ”have been there and done that” was really encouraging! Each story is very different but the more you read, less fearful you become as you just start to see it as something normal / natural, whereas almost every one who surrounded me was judging me, disapproving my decision and thinking that I must be nuts to do it…
I might have previously thought that I had achieved something in my life, that there are things I should be proud of… But becoming a mother is an achievement compared to none! Carrying a child and bringing a new life into this world is a magnificent experience. When you thought that you know all about feelings and love… suddenly a whole new world opens up for you! And suddenly you realize that you’ve got so much more to give! It is amazing what our bodies can do! Having a natural birth might seem a bit “scary” but you shouldn’t let the fear to take over you. I think many women don’t understand how powerful they are and they are loosing so much by not choosing a natural birth.
We are birth goddesses, we came into this world to prolong life on earth. Our instincts can guide us, we just need to learn to surrender to the experience.
Thank you so much Katrina!”
~ Marina St (France)
