“Birth is not something you DO, it is something you allow.” ~ Author unknown
In our western world, modern women are praised for DO-ing rather than BE-ing, “making it happen” (rather than allowing or trusting) and controlling everything. In birth it is just the opposite.
It’s more a matter of letting go, going with the flow and ‘allowing’ it to happen, rather than ‘making’ it happen. As such, a very different energy and approach is required.
Therefore, **giving up control** is a big part of the birth preparation process.
A lot of us live in our head most of the time. (myself included) We need to get out of our heads and back into our bodies.
We may think we are very sophisticated with our i-Phones and latest high- tech gadgets but we may tend to forget that birth is a very primal and instinctual thing, so we need to go to “that place” to allow it to happen.
Stress, of course, just gets in the way of the beautiful flow.
Where is “that place” for you?
Let me give you a real life example that I describe in the 5th insight of my book, A Modern Woman’s Guide to a Natural Empowering Birth, titled “Give Up Control”…. A girlfriend of mine was pregnant for the first time and was proud to announce she had snared the very best high risk obstetrician (Ob-Gyn) in town. When I politely asked why needed a high risk Ob when she had a perfectly healthy pregnancy, she replied with, “I am a lawyer and I like to have all my bases covered…I like to control all risks just in case.” Hmmmmm
As you may have guessed, she was a self- confessed control freak., which of course goes with the territory of being a high powered lawyer and may work a treat in the boardroom but doesn’t work so well when it comes to having babies!
What she didn’t realise is that she had more probability of intervention, being treated as if she was high risk and of having a surgical birth, just by making this choice.
In the 5th insight of my book, I also detail 8 empowering tips to “Give Up Control,” especially dedicated to the control freaks out there 🙂 (or should I say, over here lol)
Here is tip no.5: Channel the need for control
Channel the need for control into writing a comprehensive birth plan detailing how you would like it to be, then put it away and let it go. You may also want to plan for every possible eventuality in this document so you are prepared for everything without actually dwelling on it. This will clear the mind, help to put you at ease and allow you to focus on the positive. (nb the final birth plan will need to be simple concise and succinct – not an essay!)
Tip. no. 6: Gather Your Support Team
I see birth as a dance between taking control and letting go of control. Once you have taken charge of your space and feel fully supported and protected, it is only then that you can truly let go and surrender to the process.
***Does this story sound familiar? Do you need to give up control or learn to get out of your head and back into your body?
Share with me here or any tips or tricks that have helped you with this process. Or leave a note below.
Until next time, see if you can develop more body awareness and allow yourself to go with the flow 😉
Birth Goddess: A Positive Birth Revolution
What our blog subscribers are saying about The Art of Letting Go….
So true about going with the flow in birthing! Am looking forward to creating that zone in my planned home birth next March. Good reminding to practice this!
For me this prob means yoga, walks in beach/nature, time to be (not always easy to find with a 3yo!) Maybe cooking, journalling & meditating.
All the best for a lovely Christmas & thanks for writing an inspiring book!