I must share with you something that happened recently in our household that was so normal yet so extraordinary I want the world to know, starting with YOU! It was THAT profound and earth-shaking…and it’s all about the power of our beliefs in creating our reality.
So one evening, my daughter Ariana calls out to me while I am in the kitchen cooking dinner, “Mummy, this homework is tricky, help me!” This was nothing unusual. She was often quick to decide she couldn’t do something or it was too hard and to ask for help. So I was just about to come to the rescue when I stopped myself.
Interestingly, it was a bit of a deja vu moment. I had a sudden flashback of myself in primary school getting ‘stuck’ with a tricky maths question in exactly the same way and crying out for help in the. same. way. Talk about history repeating itself! Eeeeek!
In my case, eventually a parent or older sibling (I was one of three kids) would come to the rescue and I would be saved from my hardship with the answer on a platter. In that moment I breathed a sigh of relief and all was well in the world. Yet here I am today, all these years later and still not super confident about my maths ability. So all that rescuing didn’t really help or empower me at all. In fact all this helping made me feel LESS able, LESS competent (at least in my own view) and MORE needy or addicted to the idea that I needed others to save me from my problems.
Well this pattern was about to change in a big hurry. It all came to me in that moment….
At the same time it occurred to me that my oldest daughter Ariana has a knack for making things difficult while her younger sister makes everything easy. They are both highly intelligent girls (not biased at all – ha!) yet the only difference between them is their attitude and belief.
What I find absolutely fascinating is that her little sister Talia has the absolute opposite reaction when facing a challenge and I have no idea where she got it from. For instance, when asked a maths question, her immediate response is always, “Oh that’s easy!” (qualities of a winner!) Meanwhile her brain would scramble around quickly for the answer and sure enough she would find it! (even when she had no idea initially. Funny that.)
So I said to Ariana, “remember what your sister always says when we ask her a question?” Of course she did and repeated “Oh that’s easy!” (with a smile) so we decided to try that on and make it fun. From now on, every time she had a question or said something was ‘hard’ or ‘tricky’, we would adopt her little sister’s mantra and say it out loud “Oh that’s easy!” and guess what? It worked like a charm. I kid you not. She would ask herself that same question that she found so ‘tricky’ and like magic, when she said the mantra out loud, her mind believed it was easy and so it was. She found the answer with EASE!!!!!! She no longer needed to be saved or rescued because she found the answer within herself. This totally built her confidence to face the next question and the next. Total breakthrough moment!!!
As I mentioned in my book in the 8th insight, Words Have Power, “our beliefs, thoughts and words about birth have a significant impact on our experience. Used negatively, they can work against us, or used positively, they can be our greatest ally.”
And while labour may not be a walk in the park we are gloriously capable of doing it and in most cases without any outside help. (ie intervention)
Where can you adopt this powerful mantra in your life or that of your kids? Where do you need to challenge or adjust your beliefs to serve you and become your “greatest ally?” Do you make things more easy or difficult? Please feel free to share below 🙂
Yours in joy and ease,